Finding Grace in the Grit of Struggle

Like so many, right now, I struggle. We struggle together, realizing that we are no longer living in a free country. The only people that must adhere to law are those without billion dollar portfolios. Not one of the Epstein Boy’s Club has yet to be held accountable for crimes against children. We are lied to daily. Our cities are occupied by SS type forces who are there to intimidate, terrorize and kill our citizens. Some days it’s just damn hard to get out of bed.

a garden altar from last summer . . .

Looking for grace. It hasn’t left us. I like to dig in the dirt in my garden. I make garden alters, and plant things and feel good about life. This morning, I did another kind of digging. I looked through files, hoping to find some past writing that would remind me of the joy and goodness I’m capable of feeling. I found a piece written in 2019. Reading it brought me what I needed.

The beauty that is me:

Arms raising to the sky

Wind on my face

Head tilted back

I close my eyes

“Yes,” I say.

I practice yeses now. I practice when the moon is full and I go out on the balcony to greet her.

I practice when I drop the terra cotta pot that held geraniums this past summer.

“Oh shit,” I say , but then correct myself. Deep breath, say yes. And then I sweep up the pieces and wonder if I should save some to make a mosaic.

I walk the dog and ask the little girl down the street if she wants to come by with her mother on Saturday and paint story stones with me. “We can put them around the neighborhood as secret gifts,” I tell her and she says “yes.” It makes me happy.

Shoes off in the back yard

Toes gripping the grass

The sound of James Taylor

Coming through the outdoor speaker

I find a harmony and sing along

Another yes.

Yes to life. Yes to my life. Yes to singing to the moonlight. Yes to the poetry planted in my soul to ease the tears. Yes to growing old, to knowing soul beauty. Yes to the wisdom born of grit and chaos, bone and mud.

I love my life

and seventy-some years after the fact of my birth, I am reborn in the love

and all the yeses these later years bring.

Finding this piece in the file was a moment of deep gratitude. Sometimes we can look to the past to assuage the pain of the present, and to remember our potential. Among the poetry and unfinished prose, I also found recipes, curated from my kitchen experiments. I decided I wanted to share one here, because today, it will help me to feel better if I can give a gift that might be enjoyable. Here’s a simple salad dressing that really does dress things up!

Raspberry Basil Vinaigrette

This is a sweet and colorful dressing on any salad. Use the St. Dalfour brand of fruit spread for the recipe. I’m a fan of this brand because it’s all fruit and not sugar. And instead of regular vinegar, use brown rice vinegar as it’s more delicate and won’t overpower the sweetness of the raspberry and the basil.

Ingredients you’ll need:

2 tablespoons of chopped fresh basil

3 tablespoons of raspberry fruit spread

3 tablespoons of brown rice vinegar

½ cup of extra virgin olive oil

Whisk olive oil and vinegar together. Stir in the raspberry fruit spread and the chopped basil. Or just throw all of the ingredients into a blender. You don’t have to chop the basil – just toss it in. Mix on high for a minute. This emulsifies all of the ingredients and makes for a very creamy salad dressing.

Dear Reader, may you find little joys in this day. May your heart feel full. May you share your precious gifts with the world by just being you. Thank you for being here. I am so grateful for this community. Life is good, simply for your presence in it. Biggest of hugs, ~Stephanie