Sticks and Stones May Break My Bones

Yesterday I was eager to watch developing news about the new democratic candidate for President of the United States, Kamala Harris. While it was to be expected that the GOP and right-wing media would begin name calling instead of reporting on any policy differences, the most shocking response for me was a small clip of Megan Kelly on Fox News. She looked right into the camera and said something like, Kamala Harris is where she is because she slept her way to the top – that tired, worn out misogynistic trope has been heard before, but it’s not usually uttered by a woman.

In the 1980’s when Sherry Lansing was appointed the first woman to head a major motion picture studio, I heard similar things. At the time, I worked in the entertainment industry and I experienced the men who would smirked as they said, “she slept her way to the top.” I was part of a group of women, secretaries mostly, who said nothing but sat quietly at their desks with a new found hope and imagination that women could be studio executives too.

In some ways, we’ve come a long way, but the tired old tropes of masculine dominance, courtesy of the GOP and the notion of Christian Nationalism wants to pull us back into the past where we will know our place, stay barefoot and pregnant and make America Great Again. Define “great again.”

Fairly recently Vice Presidential candidate, J. D. Vance referred to Vice President Kamala Harris as a “childless cat lady.” Once again, no talk of policy or position, just name calling, because that’s what little bully boys do. Calling someone an idiot, does not make it true – but it does make the accuser of such slander look like an idiot themselves.

There are other phrases and words that have defined women throughout the centuries. The word crone is a good example, and one that women are clawing back as a symbol of feminine elderhood and wisdom. The word crone comes from the 13^th century Old French word, carrion, which is defined as the putrefying flesh of dead animals. So calling a woman a crone was always meant to be an insult. The 14^th century Middle-English definition of crone was a feeble and withered old woman. European folk-lore thought of crone as a disagreeable old woman. And it’s that last definition which was the beginning of the quiet work which would exalt the name of crone to include a woman with magical powers and wisdom.

The word crone is one that older women are redefining yet again and embracing. Up until fairly recently, I didn’t like the word. And then I found

Jody Day

whose writing links the notion of crone to the potential in becoming a disagreeable old women, one with magical powers and wisdom, and I was inspired.

I’m officially old now. I’m childless. However, my self-worth is based on my confidence in my talents, skills and abilities and how I use those in the world. I have little agreement with what right-wing politicians are doing to, or saying about women. At this phase of my life, I’ve witnessed a half of a century of women warriors, fighting for equality, freedom and respect, so I feel a calling to model for younger women, strength, courage and disruption. If you don’t think that Vice President Kamala Harris is a disruption to politics as usual, you’re not paying attention.  She is a crone, and I mean that in the best possible way. And, she has more than a few magical powers and strengths. I want to be a disagreeable old woman too. My ire and lack of agreement extends to the Megan Kelly’s of the world, and to all the politicians who want to own women, by stripping them of their rights.  I want to show those mo-fo’s what crones are really capable of.

What Megan Kelly said was much more of an insult to men. Does Ms. Kelly really feel that men are so stupid they would support a woman becoming the president of the greatest and most powerful nation in the world because they only wanted to get laid? When men (and evidently some women) fear the power of another woman, is it possible they believe the only thing that will save them is an insult? This reminds me of my elementary school play ground where we called each other dooty heads when somebody did something we didn’t like. And where we chanted: sticks and stones will break my bones, but words will never hurt me. Haven’t we outgrown that yet?

Words can and do hurt, but in this race for the presidency, I feel confident that Vice President Kamala Harris is suitably armored and prepared. I trust that she will be disagreeable, yet wise when it comes to position, policy, and the issues that face our people.

Name calling is a last resort defense when you are afraid of powerful women and you are at a loss for intelligent discourse. I’m hoping that all of my writing sisters, regardless of age, will embrace the still-developing archetype of crone, and be disagreeable by standing up for their rights and for their equality during this election season. In this way, we help to balance the world of masculine and feminine by using our wisdom and magic as a force for good.

Together we are stronger. Together we can express our disagreement without name calling and help to make our country a better place --one where women and men are treated as equals, and maybe, just maybe we can help to stop this childish name calling which doesn’t communicate anything but more hatred and division.

May we all know the power of standing in the light of our truth. May we speak up and speak out with thoughtfulness. May we be disagreeable with those who wish to strip us of our human rights. May we find common ground. Gratitude and appreciation to all of my readers who bring a tremendous amount of grace into my life.