22 Comments
User's avatar
Virginia Foley's avatar

"I write because my other work in the world is done. " Love this.

Expand full comment
Stephanie Raffelock's avatar

Life surprises us with things like work being done -- and then I guess we just keep reinventing the song that the heart sings. Thanks, Virginia. I always smile when you stop by. Big hugs.

Expand full comment
Jeanne Guy's avatar

You speak the hard truth about publishing while simultaneously giving voice and meaning to all of us who choose to write regardless, including those of us who are the older, white, heterosexual females. And here I sit, meditating and journaling, loving my writing life at seventy-seven. Who knew it would be the writing that is fulfilling and itself the reward? Can you hear the chorus of women applauding your work, your words?

Expand full comment
Stephanie Raffelock's avatar

"Write regardless." This is the crux of what I was trying to learn for myself. This particular post and the ensuing support is helping me to see that this is my path: Write regardless. Thank you for sharing your kind words and insights, writing sister. Big hugs.

Expand full comment
Rosemary Donnelly's avatar

Love everything you've written here. When I started my online yoga business at age 65, I bought into the whole social media notion of needing X amount of followers to be a success. I worked with a business coach to create my brand, my message, my mission, etc. Over time, the things that I loved about teaching yoga and writing blogs lost its joy & meaning as I became some slick version of who I thought I was supposed to be. These days, I have a small tribe of lovely women who join me online for yoga, and 100+ followers on YouTube & my newsletter. And you know what? I'm happier than I've ever been. It's the joy of creating, the joy of connecting... this is what "success" means to this 68 year old heterosexual white woman. I applaud you for your work, Stephanie, and for your desire to create meaning in your life. You have touched me with your words many times over, and I hope others find their way to your writing. But even if they don't, know that you have made a difference in the world already.

Expand full comment
Stephanie Raffelock's avatar

Your words and your kindness mean so much to me. I think we have followed each other for more than a few years now, and I always look forward to your newsletter. You said it so well here: "It's the joy of creating, the joy of connecting..." I concur and to that do I pledge my fidelity. I'm so grateful to have you in my life Rosemary. You remind me that it's not the size of the difference that we make -- it's just that we make a difference. Big, big hugs.

Expand full comment
Marlena Maduro Baraf's avatar

"for the writing life," indeed, Stephanie. There's no higher pleasure in my notebook. Keep going, sister!

Expand full comment
Stephanie Raffelock's avatar

Life is good. The writing life is good. Self-knowledge and a grateful heart-- all good. I love that we know each other within this wonderful literary community. Big hugs.

Expand full comment
Cherie Lee's avatar

Uplifting, hopeful, encouraging, honest, beautiful. Thank you, Stephanie!

Expand full comment
Stephanie Raffelock's avatar

Happy to be in this tribe with you, Cherie.

Expand full comment
Judy alter's avatar

Amen, sister! Joining others to support your reason for writing. I write because it's what I've done my whole long life, and I cannot not write. Fortunately, I don't need to write for income, and i have had enough recognition to make me happy. I write now because I have things to say (often about the world we live in) and stories to tell. When indie publishing first became respectable again, I decided that was for me. Early on I was published by some of the NY biggies, but I had bad agent experiences. And by your age, I had decided I didn't have time to wait on agents and publishers--I wanted to get my words out. So count me among the happy at my desk (with my remote control, battery powered electric candles!).

Expand full comment
Stephanie Raffelock's avatar

I love that I can picture you at your desk in the cottage, Judy -- and remote control battery powered candles, count! I'm blessed to be a part of a robust literary community and have women like you in my life to help illuminate the way. Thank you.

Expand full comment
Marianne Bohr's avatar

I love your writing, Stephanie. I’m right with you, loving the writing life, at my desk, a candle lit. You’re def not alone.

Expand full comment
Stephanie Raffelock's avatar

And I love to say it aloud -- we are never as alone as we think we are -- because the voice of that really does bring me the comfort of my tribe. Big hugs.

Expand full comment
Susan's avatar

"Here’s my truth: I write mostly for the writing life." Stephanie, you write for exactly the right reason, the most rewarding reason, the only reason that counts, when all's said and done. We write because we have to. Because there's nothing in this crazy world that brings us as much self-knowledge as discovering the places in our hearts where the words are hidden. I hope you never give up that search.

And yes, ageism is a thing in publishing. And yes, diverse writers are being prioritized for the available slots in acquisition lists: hetero white females over 60 not so much. That's as it should be at the current time. So if we want to share our work out, we publish where we can--and Substack is an amazing place. I'm very glad you're making it your home!

Expand full comment
Stephanie Raffelock's avatar

Dearest Susan, you never fail to encourage and support. Thank you. I love the idea and image of discovering places in out hearts where the words are hidden. Yes!

Expand full comment
Susan's avatar

You are speaking (in your post) for dozens of Substack writers and thousands who haven’t found the right publishing venue yet. You’ve put your finger on a hurt place. Thank you.

Expand full comment
Stephanie Raffelock's avatar

Thank you for seeing me. Big hugs.

Expand full comment
Susan J Tweit's avatar

So well, put, Stephanie! Thank you for articulating what I hate to even think about. There are so many of us writing because we can't not write. And yes, publishing may not want us because we are old, white, heterosexual--because we are not whatever is the current Big Thing. But we still write because we have things to say. Thank you for your words, your thoughts, your ability to dig deep and bring the hard stuff into the light. As Quakers say, "You speak to my condition, Friend." Thank you.

Expand full comment
Stephanie Raffelock's avatar

The sharing of the collective wound can bring about healing. Heart to heart, girlfriend. Thank you for your kindness and support. Sign me a forever fan . . .

Expand full comment
Sue Fagalde Lick's avatar

Bravo, Stephanie. I am also 72 and concerned about being seen as not marketable because I'm an aging hetero white lady. But I have always been a writer and have no plans to stop. Our job is to keep turning out the words. If they grab big attention, hooray. But all it takes is one person who says, "What you wrote spoke to me."

Expand full comment
Stephanie Raffelock's avatar

Oh Sue, I am hanging on to that "What you wrote spoke to me." Keep those words flowing dear woman. I'm right there with you. Sending big hugs and so happy to reconnect.

Expand full comment