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Susan Corbin's avatar

In 2022, our daughter's family was supposed to travel to Disney World with an organization called Kidd's Kids out of Dallas. Tragically, our granddaughter, Evie died before we could take the trip. The organization sent my daughter's family anyway. She took stones painted with Evie's name, and we hid them in the bushes at Disney World. I'm sure the groundskeepers moved them, but we felt like Evie got to go to Disney World in our hearts with the physical placing of the stones. Thanks for the post. It was lovely.

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Stephanie Raffelock's avatar

Dear Susan I am so very sorry for your loss and deeply moved that Evie got to go to Disney World and be part of her loving family, through the focus of their hearts. Sending love and goodwill, ~Stephanie

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Linda Marten's avatar

Thank you for writing about grief. I’ve had the same subtle thought that I am feeling grief underneath everything I am witnessing in my country right now.

Thank you for acknowledging the grief we all share in these hard times.

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Stephanie Raffelock's avatar

Linda, you and I arrived at the same place -- the undercurrent of grief in everything we are witnessing in our country. Biggest of hugs.

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Linda Marten's avatar

Thank you for being here. ❤️

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Susan Nordin's avatar

Absolutely the medicine we need right now. Thank you. I love the grief stones and gratitude stones. Grief and gratitude sit side by side, I suspect.

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Stephanie Raffelock's avatar

That's my suspect too, Susan. A dualistic world we live in, where loss and love are side by side, along with grief and gratitude. Big hugs.

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Camilla Sanderson's avatar

Beautiful post, Stephanie. It's an act of joy as resistance to keep showing up with creativity, kindness and generosity as you are. Brava♥️🙏🕊️

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Stephanie Raffelock's avatar

Thank you, Camilla. What a wonderful thought you've shared that "it's an act of joy as resistance . . ." Much appreciation for how you show up in the world.

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Christina M. Wells's avatar

Thank you, Stephanie. I liked hearing about your rituals, and they give me inspiration to consider my own.

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Stephanie Raffelock's avatar

Then I did a good job -- I love that you're considering your own rituals. (With you, I always remember the trees.)

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Jeanne Guy's avatar

I have decided that listening to you is one of my rituals. Laughing with you is another one. Both make my heart happy and ultimately make me smile through my grief.

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Stephanie Raffelock's avatar

Let's keep on smiling, sister friend. As you would say to me, "we got this!" Biggest of hugs. You are in my heart.

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Linda Marten's avatar

Yesterday I planted Spring flowers and bulbs for later blooms. It feels good to affirm life and beauty, esp in these times.

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Stephanie Raffelock's avatar

Garden rituals are among my favorite. Life affirming and beauty and there's something so healing about getting my hands into the soil!

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Marian Beaman's avatar

Thank you for sharing your words and your artifacts, assuaging my grief, Stephanie!

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Stephanie Raffelock's avatar

Thank you for being here, Marian.

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Susan Wittig Albert's avatar

Lovely, Stephanie. I can only imagine the pleasure that people feel when they happen on your stones--and know that someone *cares.*

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Stephanie Raffelock's avatar

On New Year's Day, after Dean and I had emptied our pockets of gratitude stones, we walked back to the trailhead, imagining aloud the specialness and good someone might feel in finding one of the painted rocks . . .

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Deborah Gregory's avatar

Stephanie, your words today are deeply moving and insightful. What a beautiful altar you created! I love how you creatively explore the complexity of your own grief, gratitude, and grace, together with the importance you place on ritual in helping you find meaning and resilience. Thank you so much for sharing your wisdom and inviting us to reflect on our own ways of finding strength and connection.

I also love ritual and often find solace in lighting a small candle and leaving it to burn all day on my own days of remembrance. Journaling helps me enormously, as does exploring dreams. Sharing my vulnerabilities with friends and community always helps illuminate my path to healing. I love to sit in woodland and write poems where I find peace and clarity, allowing my soul to breathe. Thank you for asking.

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Stephanie Raffelock's avatar

Deborah, THIS: "I love to sit in woodland and write poems where I find peace and clarity, allowing my soul to breathe." Wooded land is my temple too. No one will rescue us from these times, but we rescue ourselves and each other when we can find places in the park, in the wild, beneath the branches of a sheltering tree -- those places can heal the weariness of this odyssey. Thank you for your kind and thoughtful reflections . . .

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Deborah Gregory's avatar

I love, love, love that your reply comes in the form of a poem! Thank you, Stephanie.

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Tina's avatar

I am a witch and believe deeply in the Goddess and the elements. Ritual is crucial to our practice; our philosophy. But one doesn't have to be a witch to understand that ritual is comforting and grounding and healing. Such a beautiful post. Thank you for honoring the power of ritual. May all beings find the rituals that soothe their soul, activate desires that vibrate love and compassion out into our world, that inspire us to dream and then actively create a better world into being.

Darkness is simply the absence of light. Create light through ritual. We can do this!!!

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Stephanie Raffelock's avatar

Tina, what a beautiful comment. Through getting to know the elements and the nature that surrounds me, I have been guided to ceremonies of honoring, grieving and celebration. Ritual is a powerful grounding and grace, as you point out. May we shine our light together to create more light. YES! We can do this.

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Deana Cunningham's avatar

Thank you, Tina, for being a part of the evolution! "May all beings find the rituals that soothe their soul, activate desires that vibrate love and compassion out into our world, that inspire us to dream and then actively create a better world into being." YES PLEASE!!!

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Win's avatar

A graceful post …thank you

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Win's avatar

I’ve just seen this and will give it my full attention and time in a while …it deserves it. Thanks so much.

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Stephanie Raffelock's avatar

Sending love, hugs and goodwill. Thank you.

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Win's avatar

Dear Stephanie …Thank you very much for your lovely post …what a wonderful idea …making the stones talk. Your experience and your knowledge of grief is deep and wide …I imagine someone coming to you in grief will be welcomed and cared for …thank you for a wonderful post. Your description of the stages of grief is excellent too. I know Kubler Ross’s work on Grief and appreciate your take on this…grief is personal.

Take care x

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Stephanie Raffelock's avatar

Thank you for your kind remarks, Win. Sending you much love and goodwill . . .

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Trevy Thomas's avatar

Thank you. It's good to remember that grief is not reserved for people loss.

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Stephanie Raffelock's avatar

Grief is grief isn't it -- and not always "reserved for people loss." Thank you for this, Trevy.

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Karen Richards's avatar

Your rituals are inspiring.

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Stephanie Raffelock's avatar

Rituals, I believe are the purview of feminine power. May you be inspired to create your own or build on the seeds of whisperings you find on the wind . . .

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Tina B's avatar

What a beautiful post, thank you Stephanie. I've been thinking a lot recently about my brother who died when I was just 12 (I'm now nearing 60). What life would have been like had he still been here and how to honour him and also my 12 year-old self. I had never thought of grief stones, but what a wonderful idea and ritual.

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Stephanie Raffelock's avatar

Oh Tina, I hope you'll try the grief stones. The act of painting them, writing their names -- it brought such sweet tears and a strong memory of their love, still alive in my heart. Please let me know, if you're so inclined, what the process of this ritual is like for you. Biggest of hugs. . .

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