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Prajna O'Hara's avatar

Stephanie, you tell this story beautifully.

“What did the bear do when you got scared?”

“He got scared too. We both remembered who we were.”

Thank you for remembering the bear whisperer and sharing with us.

The tender child who has blossomed into a tender adult touched with bear wisdom.

I love how imagination fills us up to linger in the woods of belonging.

Love you, sister.

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Stephanie Raffelock's avatar

Thank you, Prajna. This is worth printing out and putting on my mirror: "I love how imagination fills us up to linger in the woods of belonging." I appreciate your support and goodwill. Hugs and more hugs to you and your girls.

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Donna Fromm's avatar

Your storytelling brought me to a place of deep awareness…. Of tenderness, curiosity, communion….. my breath… memories … thank you 💕

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Stephanie Raffelock's avatar

Thanks for your kind words, Donna. I will cherish this: "Of tenderness, curiosity, communion..."

Arm's around ya.

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Dr. Bronce Rice's avatar

Stephanie - Thank you for sharing a big, open piece of your heart with us. It reminded me of your father and the bear, scratched, scarred, hurt even and yet profoundly alive. The kind that wanders close enough to stir something in us we didn’t know needed touching.

Your story brought me back to a younger version of myself, spending summer weeks with my brother and his in-laws near Glacier. We’d eat huckleberry pie until our lips turned purple, and I remember how the sun lingered late into the evening like it, too, didn’t want to leave. One summer, we biked the Going-to-the-Sun Road, passing elk, bighorn sheep, and bears, their presence both awe-inspiring and oddly familiar.

Those were summers of innocence, my heart close family and nature, not yet knowing what lay ahead. And now, years later, I realize how much I long for that simplicity, for the wildness, the wonder, and the people and places that strongly shaped me.

Your story reminded me not only of Glacier, but of what it means to carry memory like an old scar, sometimes faded, sometimes painful but always pointing to what mattered. Like your father’s scratches, some things mark us because something real got close.

Thank you for helping me remember and feel. And for reminding me that even when people drift, something essential remains: in how we listen, how we speak to the world, and how we keep remembering who we are at heart of the matter.

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Stephanie Raffelock's avatar

My dear sister made huckleberry pie. We gathered the berries together. That was some pie! And especially, thank you for this: ". . . even when people drift, something essential remains: in how we listen, how we speak to the world, and how we keep remembering who we are at heart of the matter."

Yes this is what lingers, the marking or the scar of the event. I appreciate the thoughtful manner behind your words . . . always have. It's really how we met! Thank you and big hugs to you and yours.

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Kert Lenseigne 🌱's avatar

Gosh, what an amazing and heart-warming story. Poignant. It works on so many levels, including the metaphorical! And I LOVE stories like that.

“We both remembered who we were.” That line stopped me. It feels like your dad, and maybe even the bear, would have preferred to stay in the forgetting. I’m imagining the world we’d have if more of us, for more than an instant, forgot who we were; forgot so that our True Selves, the ones who yearn for connection, could surface…and maybe stay a while longer. This will stay with me a while (as all great writing does!).

And 💙 to you for the shout out. The feeling, I hope you know, is more than mutual.

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Stephanie Raffelock's avatar

You are a gem of a human being, Kert. Thank you for your kind words. I especially cherish this: "I'm imagining the world we’d have if more of us, for more than an instant, forgot who we were; forgot so that our True Selves, the ones who yearn for connection, could surface…and maybe stay a while longer." Biggest of hugs.

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Janet's avatar

Beautiful story. Sad

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Stephanie Raffelock's avatar

Thank you for being here, Janet. Hugs and goodwill.

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Kathleen Banfield's avatar

Your dad sounds like my ex husband. It's interesting how some people are better at communicating with animals than with humans.

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Stephanie Raffelock's avatar

For some, it's the wild that lights up the passion in their life, not the traditional. Big hugs.

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Stephanie C. Bell's avatar

Your comment touched me Kathleen, I'm married to somebody similar and I saw him in Stephanie's father too. These people are rare gems. <3

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Stephanie Raffelock's avatar

Agreed, Stephanie. Rare gems. Hugs.

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Kathleen Banfield's avatar

Indeed! My ex and I still live together... Just not in the same room for very long lol.I admire anyone with the confidence to find a child's lost pet...simply by " thinking like a hermit crab."

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Francesca's avatar

This scene is so beautifully told - not only the scene with the bear and the father, but also the scene of the father relaying it to the girl, and her response to it. Lovely.

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Stephanie Raffelock's avatar

Thank you. It's always a balm to hear that my writing conveyed a beauty in its telling. Hugs.

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Jody Day's avatar

So tender... I was your father in the woods, the young bear, the young Stephanie, the old Stephanie. Thank you for sharing it with us xxx

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Stephanie Raffelock's avatar

Thank you for underscoring the feeling tone of the piece. Big hugs to you.

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Marlena Maduro Baraf's avatar

What a beautiful story. You are the bear.

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Stephanie Raffelock's avatar

Thanks, Marlena. Yes, I'm the bear. Big hugs.

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Nancy Stordahl's avatar

Hi Stephanie,

This piece tugs at my heart. I feel so many emotions after reading it. Mostly, I'm glad you find comfort in the patchwork memory you've created about your dad.

The bear story is gorgeous and so full of meaning. I love how your dad felt at home amongst nature and animals. And this: "He got scared too. We both remembered who we were." Sublime wisdom right there. Have you considered publishing this as a children's story/book? I think it has great possibilty.

No doubt about it, you are your father's daughter, Stephanie. He'd be so very proud of you. I'm sorry you didn't get to spend more time with him and get to know him better. Then again, it seems as if you know and understand him quite well. Hugs, my dear friend.

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Stephanie Raffelock's avatar

Oh Nancy, your comment means so much to me; I feel seen. Thank you. And thank you for saying that he'd be proud of me. I appreciate entertaining that notion. With gratitude and goodwill, your friend, stephanie XO

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Christine Abresch's avatar

My Dad also holds a sweet, tender spot in my heart. I had him a long time. I was 63 when he passed. I know how blessed I was. He was my friend. I miss him.

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Stephanie Raffelock's avatar

Your words express that sweet, heart-felt tenderness for your Dad, Christine. Sending you biggest of hugs and thank you for sharing your story (You prove that stories can be told in just a couple of sentences and convey deep emotion. . .)

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Eric Schimel's avatar

Stephanie, that was glorious. Like sharing a lesson of your father’s with all of us. Thank you!

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Stephanie Raffelock's avatar

Thanks, Eric! Big hugs.

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Joan Stommen's avatar

Love this story; your remembering of it! How that summer grew you into who you are now. Great writing! This is a lovely essay…so happy you’ve shared it again for us! 🤗☺️🫶💕

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Stephanie Raffelock's avatar

Thank you, Joan. Isn't it interesting to look back and see what shaped who we are now? Big hugs, my friend.

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Amy Savitsky's avatar

You took me there. This is beautiful.

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Stephanie Raffelock's avatar

Thanks, Amy. I love when a piece of writing opens a door. Much appreciation and all goodwill.

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Jacqueline's avatar

Thank you for sharing your heart in this beautiful poignant memory, Stephanie. I wonder what longings your father had, and the bear, for surely he remembered the visits with your father. May you each have peace. 💓

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Stephanie Raffelock's avatar

Thank you for that sweet blessing, Jacqueline. Biggest of hugs.

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Marisol Muñoz-Kiehne's avatar

Her Dad and a bear

reached out clumsily, left scars.

Scratches as stretchmarks.

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Stephanie Raffelock's avatar

"scratches as stretchmarks" Love this connotation of birthing. Thank you, Marisol. Big hugs.

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Marisol Muñoz-Kiehne's avatar

Birthing, and/or growing, and/or stretching out a paw or a Pa' :)

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