In the mid-twentieth century old was old--my grandmothers, probably younger than I am now, were not role models of aging. But in the late 20th century, we had strong role models--Gloria Steinem, Nancy Pelosi, Ruth Bader Ginsburg, among others My biggest fear about aging is probably death--I am enjoying this phase of my life, still feel I have lots to do, and don't want to lose it. That is closely followed by a dislike of becoming insignificant, but I recognize that and fight back when I can. I am disturbed by friends, often younger than I am, who resist aging and are coy about their age. I think I've learned a lot, even in the last ten years, and I am enjoying being able to do pretty much whatever I want. My life was not always easy--I raised four children as a single parent--but now I think I'm reaping the rewards of that life. If I sound complacent, I am not. I am most grateful and realize I am most blessed. As for curtailed activities--no more entertaining on a large scale, not much travel--I have wonderful memories.
Judy, I love the list of role models. The tone of your comment is to live life to the fullest for as long as you can, regardless of your years -- that is a message that I resonate with. And BTW, I'm over large scale entertaining too. I do think that you and I are lucky to have a constant creative outlet. I feel that keeps us engaged, thinking, curious and happy. Thank you for your thoughtful comment.
You give us a lot to think about, Stephanie. I am enjoying this series! I think my tendency for most difficult things, including my age, is to make light of it or joke about it. It usually helps relieve the stress, but I know that's not always appropriate. One of my biggest fears with aging is losing my eyesight. I am extremely near-sighted and have been told I am at risk of having retina detachment. Also, I own the Connie Zweig book but haven't ever read it. You've inspired me to pull it out and begin. Thanks!
Cherie, sometimes humor deflects from the issue needing attention and sometimes it softens the issue requiring attention. Like you, my fear of aging is about the loss of physical capacity. Health span is more important to me than life span in that regard. But aging takes place against a backdrop of loss and grief and the constant practice of letting go. I believe that letting go of "doing" and changing our focus to being present and aware in life is what is asked of us. I hope you'll read Connie Zweig's book -- each chapter has spiritual practices, i.e. meditations to try and also writing prompts that are deep and thought provoking. I'm grateful to be on this journey of aging with people like you, who make the third/third feel less lonely and more inspiring as we move from adult to Elder. Big hugs
Big hugs right back! Yes, I feel the same way - it is so powerful to not feel alone, to feel like we are in this together and helping each other out. Oh boy, letting go of "doing" is a tough one. Thanks, Stephanie. I'll get out that book, and look forward to week 3, although I feel like I could spend well over a week contemplating what you've written so far. I'm saving all the emails to refer back to.
I think one of the hardest parts of motherhood is the loss of freedom, which I (and a lot of women I know) conflate with youth. Thus the push to look younger by women who still seem pretty young.
Good observation, Cassi. It's stark that we hold youthful appearance as the most desirable of states, when motherhood, midlife and elders hold such depth and riches and are what give us real beauty. I loved being young, but it was fleeting. Becoming a person and continuing to grow psychologically and spiritually throughout my life had allowed the expression of my soul in ways that sweet youth did not offer.
In the mid-twentieth century old was old--my grandmothers, probably younger than I am now, were not role models of aging. But in the late 20th century, we had strong role models--Gloria Steinem, Nancy Pelosi, Ruth Bader Ginsburg, among others My biggest fear about aging is probably death--I am enjoying this phase of my life, still feel I have lots to do, and don't want to lose it. That is closely followed by a dislike of becoming insignificant, but I recognize that and fight back when I can. I am disturbed by friends, often younger than I am, who resist aging and are coy about their age. I think I've learned a lot, even in the last ten years, and I am enjoying being able to do pretty much whatever I want. My life was not always easy--I raised four children as a single parent--but now I think I'm reaping the rewards of that life. If I sound complacent, I am not. I am most grateful and realize I am most blessed. As for curtailed activities--no more entertaining on a large scale, not much travel--I have wonderful memories.
Judy, I love the list of role models. The tone of your comment is to live life to the fullest for as long as you can, regardless of your years -- that is a message that I resonate with. And BTW, I'm over large scale entertaining too. I do think that you and I are lucky to have a constant creative outlet. I feel that keeps us engaged, thinking, curious and happy. Thank you for your thoughtful comment.
You give us a lot to think about, Stephanie. I am enjoying this series! I think my tendency for most difficult things, including my age, is to make light of it or joke about it. It usually helps relieve the stress, but I know that's not always appropriate. One of my biggest fears with aging is losing my eyesight. I am extremely near-sighted and have been told I am at risk of having retina detachment. Also, I own the Connie Zweig book but haven't ever read it. You've inspired me to pull it out and begin. Thanks!
Cherie, sometimes humor deflects from the issue needing attention and sometimes it softens the issue requiring attention. Like you, my fear of aging is about the loss of physical capacity. Health span is more important to me than life span in that regard. But aging takes place against a backdrop of loss and grief and the constant practice of letting go. I believe that letting go of "doing" and changing our focus to being present and aware in life is what is asked of us. I hope you'll read Connie Zweig's book -- each chapter has spiritual practices, i.e. meditations to try and also writing prompts that are deep and thought provoking. I'm grateful to be on this journey of aging with people like you, who make the third/third feel less lonely and more inspiring as we move from adult to Elder. Big hugs
Big hugs right back! Yes, I feel the same way - it is so powerful to not feel alone, to feel like we are in this together and helping each other out. Oh boy, letting go of "doing" is a tough one. Thanks, Stephanie. I'll get out that book, and look forward to week 3, although I feel like I could spend well over a week contemplating what you've written so far. I'm saving all the emails to refer back to.
I think one of the hardest parts of motherhood is the loss of freedom, which I (and a lot of women I know) conflate with youth. Thus the push to look younger by women who still seem pretty young.
Good observation, Cassi. It's stark that we hold youthful appearance as the most desirable of states, when motherhood, midlife and elders hold such depth and riches and are what give us real beauty. I loved being young, but it was fleeting. Becoming a person and continuing to grow psychologically and spiritually throughout my life had allowed the expression of my soul in ways that sweet youth did not offer.